He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
