id be glad to
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
