Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
