we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
handjob tips. give me some.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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