Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
