Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
