I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
