hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
