Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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