I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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