I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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