Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I look better un-naked...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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