You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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