Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
