Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
there's paper in my vomit.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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