I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Of course I have a pirate flag
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
