I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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