Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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