Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
