What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
