So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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