It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
