I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
