call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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