Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
