so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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