he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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