i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
