I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
