4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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