i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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