I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Drake has all the answers
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
