I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
