Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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