woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the condom got lost in my hair
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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