The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
