It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
