Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There's always time for handjobs
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I will pee on everything he values.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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