I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
