he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just sucked dick on a ferry
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
