How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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