i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
