last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
