I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
