the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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