none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize