Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
