At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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