I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
