Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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