She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
