I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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