Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
