Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
