dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
